Junior High and High School present all kinds of difficulties. One of the topics that gets brought up often is the area of friendship. So I was interested when I saw an article written to parents about what to teach your kids about friendship. So here it is:
What to Teach Your Kids About Friendship
by Jim Burns
Vital friendships help to provide the support system people need to thrive in life. To raise healthy kids, parents need to help teach characteristics of true friendships so that when the inevitable storms blow through our kids’lives, the encouragement of real friends can provide them with the help they need to survive.
The most important method for teaching your kids what true friendship looks like is by role-modeling what it means to be a true friend in your own relationships. If you are married, demonstrate openly the value of your friendship with your spouse! Remember, your kids are watching and they are very likely to learn the meaning of friendship from your example.
Here are some proven characteristics that that build value into friendships. Pass these along to your kids by living them out in your own friendships!
1) Good communication. Lasting friendships are built on the principles of good communication. True friends open their lives to share their thoughts and feelings with one another. Friendships that stand the test of time don’t dominate or refuse to participate in communication.
2) Be a good listener. Listening is the language of love. To grow lasting friendships, learn to listen well.
3) Don’t manipulate. When relationships turn to manipulation, friendships die. Manipulation shows up when friends become “clingy,” when they constantly seek to be pitied, or when they attempt to control another.
4) Be humble, on equal footing. True friendships are the result of humility and treating one another equally on the journey of life.
5) Be available. When people are frequently unavailable to others they send the message that they aren't interested in maintaining the friendship. Nothing is more important in friendship than the gift of availability.
6) Be encouraging. This doesn't mean that long-time friends never disagree or argue. It does mean, that on the whole, friends provide plenty of affirmation and encouragement.
7) Sacrifice. A lasting friend is one that walks the extra mile and can be depended upon even when it’s inconvenient.
8) Be loyal. Loyalty is a key ingredient to true friendships and a trait that is sorely missing in our culture today.
9) Tell the truth. Nothing destroys friendship quicker than dishonesty. Sometimes, telling the truth means being willing to admit your faults, or lovingly confront theirs, even when it hurts.
10) Forgive and Forget. This may be easier said than done, but true friendships are ones that “get-over” the hurts and offenses that are part of any relationship.
